Final Draft Picks - Year End Hip Hop Awards |
Written by Ernie Paniccioli ID3194 |
Thursday, 28 December 2006 01:37 |
HIP HOP AWARDS by legendary photographer, author and lecturer Ernie Paniccioli Hip Hop Man of the Year-Award- 2005-From Golfing with Lee Iacocca to training kids to win ball games to being on every TV show, music video and CD in America to trying to rally support to help keep Tookie Williams alive he has no equal this year.... and the winner is Snoop Dogg 2006-For better or for worse. For becoming all things to all people. For going where no rapper has gone before. For going from selling Crack to selling records-to heading a major record industry Company. For bagging the prettiest and possibly the best selling R&B Diva Beyonce-Award goes to JAY Z W.H.A.M. Awards (inspired by DallasPenn.com HAM Awards) Wack Horrible Ass Mess Awards 2006-"Flavor Of Love" Group Award Goes To all of the people in it, that conceived of it, that gave up their booty or head on national TV to stay on it. Special mention goes to the oinker who pooped on the floor and a lifetime "Bone Ass Ugly Psycho Skank" Award Goes to NEW YORK for pushing back the efforts and advancements of decent, hard working, clean, sane intelligent Black Women all over the nation. Flav went off the scale and set a new all time low even for something as demented as so called "Reality TV". Hip-Hop same ol, same ol- Award 2005-Crunk videos, hoes, tricked out cars, gold teeth, spinning rims, champagne, bling, dancing in the club or spinnin on a pole. It looks like the same 30 women, the same 7 clubs, the same 20 cars, the same 5 recycled beats. Hands down Crunk videos win this coveted award 2006-Crunk videos, tired hoes, tricked out cars, gold teeth, spinning rims, champagne, bling, dancing in the club or spinnin on a pole. It looks like the same 30 women, the same 7 clubs, the same 20 cars, the same 5 recycled beats. Hands down Crunk videos win this coveted award Hip Hop Sucker of the Year- Award 2005-This is a tough one, should be shared and was really fought for by many,but the winner is Arnold Swarzenniggerr Signed a death warrant for Tookie Williams because he said Tookie dedicated his book to political prisoners. In Austria (are there any people of color living there?) there is a movement to strip the bodybuilder of his Austrian citizenship and change the name of a football field named after him to "Tookie Williams Stadium". Arnold is the winner for being a cold hearted punk. 2006- George Bush gets to share this hard earned award with Donald Rumsfield, Condalezza Rice, Dick Cheney and Halliburton. Even after the midterm elections kicked his parties butt, even after 3000 dead soldiers, even after the Baker Report told him he was dead wrong. He plans to "Stay The Course". Hip Hop Cartoon- Award 2005-(I''m going to get heat from the self righteous and thin skinned on this one fo'' sho). "The Boondocks" by Aaron McGruder is laugh out loud funny as hell and dead on point. Yes, I know he wears out the N word, maybe that's his point. The Award goes to "The Boondocks" 2006-Changing this award from Cartoons to Comics and the winner is Dave Chapelle . For deciding that 50 Million dollars was not worth his dignity nor his soul. Hip Hop Noriega What? What?-Award Yeah I got caught spying on your behind.... What? What?. Yeah I invaded two countries illegally.... What? What?. Yeah I let a thousand people die in a hurricane.... What? What? Yeah I have a Federal deficit unequaled in the history of the world.... What? What? Yeah I allow torture and killing of innocent people....What? What? Yeah I stole an election or two....What? What?............. no competition at all! 2005-the proud but dumb and dull witted winner is "The Nig**a you love to Hate" G.W. Bush 2006-The cold hearted cowboy pig punk NYPD cops who murdered an unarmed Sean Bell in Queens on his wedding day in a hail of Fifty Shots. Hip Hop Sell Out Ho of The Year-Award 2005-Yes there were many, but the winner beat out Superhead by a country mile for being cold hearted, mean spirited, just plain tacky and a bone ugly, gap tooth mess. For shopping at Ferragamo's for $8000.00 shoes on 5th Avenue in NYC while tens of thousand of her brothers and sisters were strugglingto stay alive without food, water or shelter, five days after Katrina struck.....the award goes to a skeezer named Condelezza Rice 2006-Russell Simmons for jumping into bed with DeBeers and defending the brutal African diamond trade and knocking the people who made the movie "Blood Diamond" and runner up- Common for his wack ass Gap commercials. Hip Hop Journalist of the Year-Award 2005-To reporting non stop on everything that mattered in the world of Hip Hop. From Tookie to Katrina, from Public Enemy to Crunk to Richard Pryor to Snoop to the Gotti trial. This man kept us informed, made us laugh, made us angry, made us think, hell, even made us cry, but most of all made us think. The winner is Mr. Davey D. and DAVEY D.COM 2006-To reporting non stop on everything that mattered in the world of Hip Hop. From Tookie to Katrina, from Public Enemy to Crunk to Richard Pryor to Snoop to the Gotti trial. This man kept us informed, made us laugh, made us angry, made us think, hell, even made us cry, but most of all made us think. The winner is Mr. Davey D. and DAVEY D.COM Hip Hop Movie of The Year-Award 2005-Ludacris proved he was a dope rapper long ago, in this movie he proved he can act. And the winner is CRASH 2006-No decent Hip Hop movies crossed my path, but the most John Blaze TV show was THE WIRE Hip Hop Organization of The Year-Award 2005-We have two winners here: # 1 - Universal Zulu Nation (33 years old and still going strong) # 2 - The Universal Federation for The Preservation of Hip Hop Culture aka The Federation It's members include Afrika Bambaataa, KRS1, Busy Bee, Luvbug Starski, Meli Mel, Kurtis Blow, Grandmaster Caz, Yoda of The Crash Crew, DJ Hollywood, Fable of The Rock Steady Crew, Pebble Poo, Simone Joy, and photographers Ernie Paniccioli, and Joe Conzo. 2006-We have two winners here: # 1 - Universal Zulu Nation (34 years old and still going strong) # 2 - The Universal Federation for The Preservation of Hip Hop Culture aka The Federation It's members include Afrika Bambaataa, KRS1, Busy Bee, Luvbug Starski, Meli Mel, Kurtis Blow, Grandmaster Caz, Yoda of The Crash Crew, DJ Hollywood, Fable of The Rock Steady Crew, Pebble Poo, Simone Joy, and photographers Ernie Paniccioli, and Joe Conzo. Major Threat to Hip Hop-Award 2005-For recycling and jacking more beats than Rap, for more bling than in any Crunk video, for more half nude hootchies and for shaking more booties than rap and even more tricked out rides.....This award goes to Reggaeton 2006- Reggaeton again. Hip Hop "You was hot and now you''re not"- Award 2005-You could fill a stadium with these potential award winners. We would have to do this in alphabetical order to be fair to everyone. But the two that win by a landslide are The Source (for being drama queens and dissing everyone from 50 to Eminem) Vibe magazines (for having Bow Wow on the cover with fake hair Queen Ciara, then doing Mary J. Blige dirty by having a shot of her that made her look like an alien water bug). 2006-Dana Dane (who?) for twice whining, bitching and moaning to me that he did not make the final cut into my book "Who Shot ya?". Thanks to his ill manners he will also not make the final cut into my next two books. Hip Hop Wackest- Award 2005-It's would have been tough to narrow this one down except the winner risked his life to earn this award and proved that all his conscious lyrics came from smoking too much of his namesake. For joining the Army and asking to go fight in an illegal, immoral war in Iraq... the unchallenged winner by first round knockout is Canibus 2006-Crowded field. Damn near every repetitive, corny, totally played out crunk/Rap/R & B video. Hip Hop Hypocrite-Award-2005 2005-By leaving the church to go back to Bad Boy, then hopping over into G Unit he knocked out all contenders. Winner and still champion: Mase His trophy will be a small anatomically correct red shiny suited Puffy doll 2006-Too many to count fill in the blank yourself_______ Hip Hop Diva- Award 2005-Again this should have multiple winners but by her antics, lost voice and nutty behavior she even beats out the crazy Mulatto Mariah. She demands nobody look at her, they must face the wall and even then just call her Ms. Hill. So I will respect her wishes, Ms. Lauryn Hill you just won the Diva Award. (her award is a bronzed copy of the Betty Boop wig she wore after her 5 year retirement). 2006- Kanye West for whining, bitching and moaning that he has not gotten enough b.s. industry awards after making the most b.s industry type videos including a dumb ass, wack video with Pamela Anderson and a totally muddled "blood diamonds" mess style video where he promises to keep his Jesus Piece no matter who dies in getting the diamonds out of the Earth-say what? Hip Hop Master Detective Sherlock Holmes- Award 2005- For brilliant,outstanding, amazing forensic work, fantastic police work as well as swift solutions. For going way beyond the call of duty and critical analysis of the facts at hand. This award will have to be shared by the NYPD, the LAPD and the Las Vegas PD for their not solving the murders of Big, Tupac (2Pac) or Jam Master Jay after all these years they will be presented with the First Annual Gas Face Awards. 2006-Still can''t find a pair of sneakers in a sneaker store award to THE NYPD-LAPD-LAS VEGAS PD for the unsolved murders of TUPAC, Jam Master Jay and BIG 2006 -Best Hip Hop Internet Newsletter-Tools OF War from Christie Pabon 2006 -Best Hip Hop Blog - www.dallaspenn.com 2006 Best Hip Hop Moment -Going into an anti-NYPD rally centered on the murder of Sean Bell on 124st in Harlem and seeing the room filled with Bloods, Crips, Rastas, Zulus, Nation of Islam, Moors, Black Hebrew Israelites and New Black Panther Party members all in solidarity, peace and brotherhood. http://www.myspace.com/brotherernie
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