Thug Life Army

Early this morning my mother passed from this world. She lost a short struggle with cancer. She was operated on around Thanksgiving and since then the cancer had just seem to spread at an amazing speed thru her body.

Unlike a lot of my brothers and sisters in the hip-hop culture, I was blessed with a two parent household. My father passed a few years ago, and mom was always so strong and loving – the way mothers are.

I was blessed to be with her as she took her last breath on this earth and I watched as her body relaxed into the next phase of the cycle.

I sit now hours later and miss my mom already. I think of the good times and the bad times and sleep just won’t come to me; as my mind races thru the memories of my mother.

My mother was more than my mom; she was one of my best friends. We had a special ‘click’ that is hard to explain.

Needing some tunes to relax my mind there were a few that seem to fit my particular circumstance and I wanted to share them with you; or at least parts of them.

It is funny how music can medicate and relax the spirit when it is restless.

In the song ‘Sadie’ by R&B legends the Spinners, I see memories of my mom.

Sweeter than cotton candy

Stronger than papa's old brandy

Always that needed smile

Once in awhile she would break down and cry

Some times she''d be so happy

Just being with us and daddy

Standing the worst of times

Breaking the binds with just a simple song

Oh, Sadie (Oh, Sadie, baby)

Don''t you know we love you (She''ll love us all in a special way)

Sweet Sadie (Well, well, well)

Place no one above you

Sweet Sadie (How you gave me love, oh, Lord)

Living in the past

If there's a heaven up above

I know she's teaching angels how to love

Although her name was not Sadie, this is my mom. Sweet strong and had so much love. Which would make me want to hear from the rap icon Tupac Shakur and Unconditional Love; Mom was always pointing out if I went wrong or correcting me for my mistakes but always had Unconditional Love for me and vise versa.

(What y''all want?)

Unconditional Love (no doubt)

Talking bout the stuff that don''t wear off

It don''t fade

It''ll last for all these crazy days

These crazy nights

Whether you wrong or you right

I''m a still love you

Still feel you

Still there for you

No matter what (hehe)

You will always be in my heart

With unconditional love

In this game the lesson's in your eyes to see

Though things change, the future's still inside of me

We must remember that tomorrow comes after the dark

So you will always be in my heart, with unconditional love

And as the mind dreams of times past and the days that will never be again with mom are turned into tears, the follow up track for that would have to be Dear Momma:

I can always depend on my mama

and when it seems that i''m hopeless

you say tha words that can get me back in focus

when I wuz sick as a little kid

ta keep me happy theres no limit to tha things ya did

and all my childhood memories

are full of all tha sweet things ya did for me

and even though I act craaaazy

I got ta thank tha Lord that ya maaaade me

There are no words that can express how I feel

Ya never kept a secret, always stayed real

and I appreciate how ya raised me

and all tha extra love that ya gave me

I wish I could take tha pain away

If you can make it through tha night, there's a brighter day

everything''ll be alright if ya hold on

it's a struggle

everyday gotta roll on

and there's no way I can pay ya back

but my plan is ta show ya that I understand

you are appreciated.......

If there was a way to roll all that into one track, you would have a track of my mom’s life and my love for her.

As we knew she was growing tired, I told her I would be alright and that if she had to go I understood; at least the pain would leave her.

I hugged her and thanked her for my life and for being my momma and my friend.

Loosing a parent is very hard. Loosing a friend is hard. But when that parent is one of your closest friends that is devastating.

ThugLifeArmy.com news will be off for a few days, as we send my mother to her rewards and take care of all the aftermath of her passing.

I would like to thank everyone who was aware of this situation and reached out to me during it. I know my mother appreciated the prayers and thoughts that she received from everyone and I know I will never forget how everyone looked out for me during this.

Again Thank You to everyone and if you are lucky enough to have your parents show them a lil extra love today. And if your parents or parent has passed – think of them in a special way today. We are blessed with many in our life and let them know the way you feel today – because tomorrow may be to late.  We will resume news on the sites in a few days----1

* The lyrics of Tupac’s (2 Pac) - Dear Mama and Unconditional Love are © CopyRight to Amaru.